It’d result in another trial no?

So now jurors can’t be a felon, a victim of crime or have an opinion against the death penalty? Who the fuck is left? Honestly this is bullshit.

What are the latest statistics? 1 in 4-5 women are raped, and 1 in 7-10 men are raped? That disqualifies a large population from jury duty. Doesn’t seem practical.

I got rid of mine completely. Replaced with drought resistant plants, drip irrigation and mulch. Looks great.

Hey, my lawn is dead right now, Steve. Paying a ton in property taxes does not entitle you to use more than your fair share of water. No one is forcing you to live on a property that looks “like an African savanna.” Feel free to move, Steve. I bid you adieu. Bye!

I REALLY hope there’s a new trend in Hollywood of A-List actors doing Lifetime movies for fun. My whole life has been leading up to seeing Meryl Streep and Denzel Washington in a remake of Crimes of Passion: She Woke Up Pregnant.

Dear High Court,

My mom just promised me she won't try to fertilize my eggs if I die before her.

The only way I will accept them as best friends is if that means she swears in his face all the time and replies, “not much, just did some gardening and got a couple abortions” when he asks how her weekend was.

I am 5’5.5. Kit’s eyes are flush with mine although he is leaning slightly. I’d say 5’6 and not a half-inch taller. (P.S. He is a genuine and lovely fellow. Also, he smells really good.)

I don’t date “the old-fashioned way” for various personal reasons, but I *love* just making out and cuddling. Without sex. Honestly, I often like it more than sex. If someone I’m dating can’t respect that we’re JUST making out and cuddling (sometimes naked, even!) and they think that’s consent, I get them the fuck out…

Maybe she’s been ghostwriting Yahoo Answers?

Kind of... and I say kind of because I had this discussion with a good friend of mine because her children, not her, was hell-on-wheels for a while.

Meh the South couldn’t get too worked up over it. It was all in subtitles and us Southerners are either too ignorant to read all that shit or confused why Jesus wasn’t speaking American like he’s supposed to.

No, it’s not okay! Your parents are terrible. There are large trash cans outside the entrance, pick up your trash and put it in there on your way out. Don’t make some teenager’s life worse just because no one is standing there to stop you, please.

Nah, its cool, since magical gremlins pick up your trash there.

I was assaulted by a movie goer who felt she shouldn’t have to wait in line behind the 300 people who arrived before her, so she trampled me to get into a theater that wasn’t prepped yet. Thankfully, she also obstinately plopped her ass into the seat of her choice and refused to move. That made it easy for us to get…

Passion of the Christ, which we can all agree was basically a torture snuff film, brought the craziest people out of the woodwork. According to a friend who worked at the local theater at the time, more than half the staff just straight up quit over the abuse they got from people so ignorant and belligerent. This…

I'd love a week of only hotel / movie theatre stories. I can only imagine what those poor souls have to put up with in a daily basis...