Except for Tiffany. She looks like Marla, but Donald is responsible for the lower half of her face. Ivanka is only in her mid-30s, yet it looks like she’s got a plastic surgeon on speed dial.

It’s the “his own people” that’s most telling. At a subconscious, gut-belief level, Spicer doesn’t consider Jewish Germans and Austrians to be Germans and Austrians, i.e. Hitler’s people. He considers them wholly Other in a way that is analogous to Hitler’s own Othering of Jews, gays, Communists, dissenters, etc.

I could see Trump doing this in 4 years, 10 years, or twenty years, though he’d manage to be coarser and less elegant. They don’t all age well, some just rot or stay rotten as they age.

My parents were early adopters of the home computer back in the early 80's. I wish to god they had never gotten smart phones.

“I”love you, Puddin’ Buns.”

I can see that conversation.

Seriously, just go with, “I love you baby”.

I don’t disagree that this is uncharacteristic, but as some who spent a lot of time teaching older legislators how to use their smartphones I have a hard time believing the governor is tech savvy enough to carry on such conversations.

White People Problems.

Because of the way text message inbox is set up I often times ALMOST sent my boss a text that was meant for my boyfriend. Damn these touchscreens! Now I make sure to check twice.

I refer to him as Perv Skeletor. His wife left him and he took Rebekah to the inauguration because he’s that classy.

First rule of having an affair, make sure your mistress has the same first name as your wife.

As a Jezzie who is married to someone who’s a year older than the governor, I strongly suspect that evidence will come out that Bentley isn’t quite right in the head. His actions are truly uncharacteristic for someone of his age and I am casting extreme side eye at ol’ Rebekah. Popcorn is at the ready.

Pro tip, use the same pet name for both of them, or better yet find a mistress with the same first name as your wife.

It’s like he’s never heard of “honey” or “babe”. They exist for a reason, amateur.

That text message is why old people should stay away from smart phones.

You are really going to suggest that Democrats force restrictive sexual morality down people’s throats the way conservatives do? You’re really trying to do that? You really think this is a winning argument?

Ah, the Republicans. Paragons of of virtue, restraint, and family values, up until the point you finally catch them with their pants down. They will gladly tell you what to do with your genitals, all the while doing with theirs, whatever they please.

I mean, she’s an actual witch to them, so I’m sure she was able to bewitch him across space and time or some shit.