I always knew I liked you. We should possibly hang out some time. But I’ve got this thing this weekend.

I’ve taken this advice my whole life. Eventually, one of two things happen:

A group of my friends were inconsolably butt-hurt when I refused to buy in to a cruise vacation with them TWO FUCKING YEARS in advance. I told them I wanted to wait because, you know, a lot of shit can happen in two years. They ended up on a boat with a listeria outbreak.

So is this a light-hearted way of poking fun at an annoying yet lovable colleague? Or a pointed, direct barb at an annoying and entirely loathsome colleague? Both?

Definitely Ashley.

You didn’t see her, but she saw you. She saw you coming from miles away.

There’s been an impressive number of posts generated with content sourced solely from Slack, though.

These were private.....

Ashley seems like the kind of coworker you see running towards the elevator you’re in, while you desperately push the “doors close” button, but she gets her hand in there at the last second.

These are all ‘shopped.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the pool...

99% chance this is some white American 20-something weeaboo dweeb who moved to Japan to study the honorable arts of Anime and katana folding too. When the fuck is that whole Japan fetishization thing going to fucking die already?

Yeah, because Japanese people are the pinnacle of refinement. Go to any restaurant in Japan and you'll see a table of girls who haven’t ordered anything but drinks and have their shoes off with their smelly feet up on the seats taking pictures while one sleeps with her head on the table and the guy next to them is…

I agree 100%. A true charisma man.

Little note for you all. This poster is a weeb living Japan who thinks being foriegn makes him special despite having zero personality.

You forgot to make a body shaming reference about Trump’s small dick. Body shaming is okay as long as it’s directed at white men but it’s not okay when it’s directed at hogs.

Airplane?

Why the fuck is this shit on Jalopnik?

Why the shit is this on Jalopnik?