It reminds me of my favorite poem, which is, "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic… and so am I!"

I'm taking a break from quoting Caddyshack for a moment to let you all know that animal abuse is no laughing matter. I can assure you that no gophers were harmed in the making of Caddyshack.

No.

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

No.

Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh?

Hey everybody, we're all gonna get laid!

What do you think, fella?

Say, Fred, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the colored boy who went to heaven?

I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

The only reason I'm here is because I might buy it!

This is a hybrid. This is a cross, ah, of Bluegrass, Kentucky Bluegrass, Featherbed Bent, and Northern California Sensemilia. The amazing stuff about this is, that you can play 36 holes on it in the afternoon, take it home and just get stoned to the bejeezus-belt that night on this stuff.

This crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere.
Former greenskeeper and now about to become the masters champion.

I planned to go to law school after I graduated, but it looks like my folks won't have enough money to put me through college.

Hey, Smails! My dinghy's bigger than your whole boat!

Say, Fred, did you hear the one about the Jew, the Catholic, and the colored boy who went to heaven?

Hey Whitey, where's your hat?

You're a lot of woman, you know that? Yeah, wanna make 14 dollars the hard way?

Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to
become the Masters champion. It looks like a mirac… It's in the hole!
It's in the hole! It's in the hole!