Because these are the only two options?

BWAHAHAHAHAH!

I hear there are some impressive new technological developments in the whaaaaaaambulance industry. You should go check them out.

Never say never, but yeah, I bet you’re pretty much right.

I would probably respond to this article, Drew, but I need to check with George Soros on what liberal talking points and affirmations I need for this subject. As a paid protester and actor hired by Open Society Foundations, I want to properly represent my opinion that aligns with His (Soros) views.

Congratulations to every idiot who believes I was referring to full auto rifles, which are so rare they’re almost never-but occasionally-used in these massacres. (After this many goddamn years of mass shootings I am familiar with the pedant playbook, which involves bringing up random #gunfacts until someone on the…

An assault rifle is a selective-fire rifle with the capacity to flip between semi-auto and full auto, which is why this article is about a category of weapons and accessories which would be legally categorized as “assault weapons” with major restrictions on who is allowed to just carry them around, you pedantic chud.

Not all of us sit and play video games for 8 hours a day. Some of us just like to blow off an hour or 2 once every couple of days. For us, the literal majority of people who own computers, this is a very good option.

“but what about Google” is the ISP’s version of “but Benghazi!” or “but Hillary’s emails!”

But not smart enough to not run your mouth-basket about what you don’t know.

No, this is how homeopathy works: It doesn’t. There has never been a single credible study showing any positive effect from homeopathy except lining the pockets of the purveyors. The only reason it has been sold legally in the US at all is because the manufacturers of such patent medicines and snake oils successfully…

Yeah, right.

Really? There’s No Frickin’ Way that Hillary Clinton, or anyone she would appoint to head the FCC would have repealed Title II protections of a free and open Internet as a public utility.

Acer, Amazon, Google, Microsoft, Intel, among a dozen other companies have all outsourced to Foxconn, you virtue-signalling moron.

You are a horrible, horrible person. What is wrong with you?

I’m going to run on the assumption that you constructed this post by vomiting directly onto your keyboard and then slamming your face into the gelatinous mess.

I’m going to assume you don’t actually remember the last tech bubble if you think companies with actual, physical goods, are even remotely like the dotcom bubble.

You sir, are a fucking idiot. Hope no one you care about ever has an injury that requires some sort of pain management and struggles to get their life back afterwards.

But it doesn’t help in the slightest. Stay with me here.