I have some Splat hair chalk and Blistex they can have for a very reasonable amount.

And is taking her tips.

Combing Donald’s muskrat on top of his head gotta cost $300 alone.

Cosigned, the rest of Ohio.

“Until they decide what to do about the stain on the game, I abstain.”

Hillary couldn’t even beat a game show host.

I like pistachios, but I have never seen anyone eat less than 4 servings at a time.

As much as I want to eat a whole pizza, eating more than 2 pieces at a time is never a good idea.

Quality burn

That agent really came out swinging.

Guns have more rights that my uterus.

Did he look like a hateful orangutan with a blonde comb-over and tiny hands?

It’s too soon for Thoughts & Prayers™, we’re still at step one which is Blame Radical Islamic Terrorism™ (but only if the guy isn’t white).

The logical follow-up is that it’s usually Ted Cruz’s dad.

Build a wall, and make Florida pay for it!

If we all just offer up enough Thoughts and Prayers (tm), we’ll never have another mass shooting again.

Yeah, literally my only goals this year, health wise, are eating less sugar (which basically amounts to not getting that mocha from Starbucks), and eating more veggies.

Your last sentence right there is the big differentiator for most people. Stop eating like a trash compactor, and make an effort each week to move when you can. I’ve had similar results this year.

You got it boss!