I'm not even going to try to transcribe what is said here

the checker tool website is down now...

You know this guy recently died, right? Have some respect.

Cut him Ozzie. I don't care about the cap hit. I don't care about the dead money. I just want Ray Rice off my team.

The handrail in the elevator has also expressed regret for its involvement.

Ravens PR guy: "I liked Ray Rice a lot then. I like Ray Rice a lot today"

Well, so much for "But we didn't see what really happened in that elevator."....

Correct me if I'm wrong, but does he also have a picture of a box of cereal on his shirt?

See what I mean? Commenting going to shit. No mention at all of how far can I punt a football. F minus.

So now you've sued the only business that needs punters and slammed the only media that follows punters. You're a real fucking genius.

Not to alarm everyone, but I DON'T THINK HE HAS THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL.

Poor guy lost the bet and had to be the one to actually attend the game.

Although I can't help but disagree with the first sentence of that paragraph:

I've been waiting all damn day to read this! Kudos for being the other person on the internet who makes sense. I have another point though...nobody wants to see pictures of me naked because I'm not physically attractive. If you are physically attractive, do something drastic (acid, 700 cheeseburgers, etc) to make…

Yeah, but think of how fuckin' good the speech would have been if they'd won.

Hey KC, nice gesture and all, but kind of a dick move making fun of his English with that shirt.

I've seen fire throwers and I've seen rain.

Looks just like the goal my four year old scored last week for Wurzburger Kickers' sister team, the Redmond lil' kickers.

bored