I believe it was Tina Fey who said: "Helen Mirren is not proof that there are parts for older women, Helen Mirren is proof that there are parts for Helen Mirren."

If you are trying to pretend that you're still the young buck when you're my age, it just doesn't work.

When I was really lonely after a bad breakup, my BFF just called me ALL THE TIME to chat. She didn't wait for me to call her. It wasn't really a habit we'd had before, but it really felt good that she was helping fill those silent moments. I don't know if your friend would like that, but the time on your hands after a…

Galaxy Quest is amazing. I found a copy at Goodwill for $3 and was talking about it for a week.

A gif is like a drawing, right?

Ew. Seriously?

Ugh, that sucks. All I want to do is drink champagne in my PJs, but a friend decided to have her housewarming party tonight, so there's an extra bit of obligation to go. So we get to pay $5,000 for an uber to hang out with 50 people, most of whom we don't know, in a tiny condo without a balcony. I predict I'll sweat a…

I'm planning for pizza, maybe alcohol (I have a headache already, though, so maybe not) and Twin Peaks.

I'm so sorry about your plan switch. I'm serious. I had several people try to talk me into various levels of partying tonight but fuck that noise. Jammies, snacks, MarioWorld 3D, Netflix, Prosecco and a toasty fire. Hoping the neighbors across the lake do their fireworks display so I can catch that.

Tried cocaine for the first (and last) time in a stranger's bedroom and ended up helping the caterer make a bunch of sandwiches. At a party I wasn't invited to.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.......... which year?

vomited on myself while naked and crying.

This is so stinking cute!!

Adrian Grenier looks like he smells like a douche like actually vinegar and water.*

nothing about Gwen Stefani is fair. She's 45, and minus the kids, she looks exactly like she does when Just A Girl hit. (As a ska-loving boy who got intro'd to feminist principles by the Dance Hall Crashers, this pleases me.)

He wants to BE a brother, not have a brother necessarily. Not that there is anything wrong with wanting a baby brother either?

It is literally just you. But it's only this one time. Other times it's a whole bunch of people.

No. Seriously. It's just you.

I take full responsibility for people crying because of the following two gifs.