Oh God. Last night my shiba decided he wanted to sleep RIGHT UNDER MY LEGS. Then, in the ultimate display of "animalsbeingjerks" he licked my leg in the middle of the night. I almost tossed him off the bed in a fit of disoriented grumpiness. When I realized the dog was licking me, I groaned and turned him on his…

Fuck this thing in particular.

I disagree. Sounds like a serious dick thing to say.

I don't know if you mean pigs or pitbulls but I read it as you like armpits with slightly longer hair because they are fun to pet and I childishly giggled.

Truth. My friends daughter is 2.5 years old and fucking RUDE to almost everyone (like rude to waitresses and people will smile because she's cute), but never gets reprimanded. She was being especially rude to me and I snapped, "Enough. You speak to me with respect or you don't speak at all, understand?" Her face went…

Children are actual people. Don't you dare make extra work for yourself just to please her! That greedy little shit, how dare she ask for something

You are absolutely right, just much more eloquent than I am. This topic makes me so mad that I have a difficult time even articulating everything... I usually end up ranting about the state of the world and kids these days like an old fogey. The way I see it is, it's fine to ask your child what color cup they want. …

I have a friend who says his 2 year old will only eat oreos and mac and cheese. She just "doesn't like" vegetables and fruit. Well, how the hell does your 2 year old even know that oreos exist? Does she sneak out to the grocery store on her own? This couple are so afraid of crying that they will feed their…

I always think of Nixon as the alien from Men in Black!

But who ran headless Spiro Agnew?

I was working retail at a huge department store chain one holiday season. One day right before Christmas, we had huge rush of people last minute shopping and the lines were incredibly long. I had been at my register for hours without a break because the line never would die down.

Excellent point.

I read these tweets and I'm all...

NO ORGANIC FRUIT?!

I hear ya. I've been at my current job for 10 years and we wear polos and khakis. I miss my youthful receptionist days of cute skirts and shoes. If I worked in a normal, real-live office I would dress like Taylor.

That pictures makes my lady parts explode.

Eva Mendes has been pretty open about not wanting to have children or marriage- "She says: "I don't wanna have kids... I love the little suckers; they're so cute but I love sleep so much and I worry about everything." and " I feel like the institution of marriage is a very archaic kinda thing. I don't think it fits in…

I was going to say... if she's supposed to be 7 months pregnant in those photos.... I'm 17 months pregnant.

best use of a <——— that I have seen in some time. Well played.

<——- There's an article over there about Carly Rae Jepsen. I don't care about her or her money or lack thereof. Know what I do about it? I don't click on it. It's just that easy.