Because, you know, it's a motorcyclist's fault that car drivers don't pay attention to their surroundings. Here's a hint: motorcyclists are forced to do so every time they ride a motorcycle, solely because other drivers don't.

That's a shame. Do you decide to get rid of your car every time you see an accident video?

Beat me to it.

So, boring people buy 1991 Corollas?

Harder to pronounce than "Swift," anyway.

Every time a Mercedes ad exec uses "Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Mercedes-Benz?" because IT'S GOT MERCEDES BENZ IN THE TITLE GET IT? GET IT?!, Janis Joplin's ghost kills a puppy.

A probing.

@I Think We're Property: Here, have a granola bar.

@hostile-17: They're not people unless they complain about their new Facebook layout!

@Jones Foyer: We have a winner.

If they fire the cannon, will it work like a potato silencer?

@ShibbyUTman: Hey, there are no roads in the kitchen!

Steve Lichtman to B-J: "this looks shopped."

@RX-Elise: It's advice we can all adhere to.

@DrGonzho: Seriously, Lana, call Kenny Loggins 'cause you're in the danger zone.

@syaieya: I've vomited more authentic Corvette paraphernalia than that.

@Hedy Lamarr, a stoat: Too soon, man, TOO SOON!

@TowMe: Somebody with a greater attention span than me needs to calculate its Jalopnik score, barring in mind the rarity of a V12/4WD combination and the tendency for Ferraris to return to their natural flambé state.

@Blue387: She looks especially sophisticated in the London Fog ads. Which, considering Mad Men, is appropriate in more ways than one.

Oh sorry, you had me at Christina Hendricks.