@Rattleface Blouses, proprietor of awesome.: You wanna fuck on me? You wanna fuck on me?

Nobody's gonna fuck on you! I'm on your side! I hate Godzilla! I hate him too! I hate him! He destroys cities!

"Hey kids, we're going CAMPING!" "Yaaaaayyyyyy!"

@Sage Callahan 5.0: Seconded.

@definitelynotjessica: Damn. You have to go out of your way to try to fail that hard. Does somebody at Applebee's have a grudge against you?

@SuicaLove: Because other fast food restaurants have to deal with a global distribution network, homogenized tastes, lowest-bidder ingredients, stringent profit margins, and thousands of locations?

@Justine: Or in Detroit. #lowhangingfruit

Uh, fast food doesn't look like the fast food on the menu. What else is new? Does your recipe ever come out looking like it does in Good Housekeeping? Can you squeeze into a dress the same way as Keira Knightley? Does your Ford Explorer look as good on a Maine logging road as it does on the back cover of Car and…

Ray, is this what you drove to your high school reunion? Be honest.

@trOnski: If being a gearhead means being lumped into the same category as this homophobic mouth-breathing Neanderthal pillock, then I hate cars.

Aw, I thought you said "librarian."

I love how the NY Times linked to the same three articles about 17 times each.

@Jstas has gas!: If you weren't already starred, I'd do so for "crotch-fruit."

Hell, Maverick and Iceman could fly the simulators shirtless, perfectly replicating the gratuitous homosexual tension from Top Gun.

Carroll Shelby is that grandpa that comes to Thanksgiving dinner ever year and tells the same story, one that sounded really amazing the first time you heard it years ago but now you just wish he would go away. And then he gets really cranky and threatens to throw things, and eventually you've gotta lock him in the…

I would have also settled for Kenny G.

@jubjub: You know who else had a Mercedes? HITLER.

@thegoddesscher: More like, she's found a kindred spirit.

@bzr: And for the record, I like PBR.

Never would have figured that cafe racers fell into the realm of hipsters. I believe these men would like to have a word about that.