An old Ferrari in Hawaii? Does Tom Selleck have an evil twin?

Yeah take that, David Sedaris! That'll teach you to write tragic-humorous reflections of modern-day familial dysfunction!

The roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills, followed by the cloud of smoke.

@The Dead Inside Group of Companies Limited: Daytona USA, hell yeah! I threw quarters that thing until my parents yelled at me, but it was worth it. Still remember the feeling of accomplishment I got from pulling off a great powerslide...and the inevitable crash that followed. I never said I was good at it.

@gman1023: You don't like Pizza Hut but you recommend Sbarro? What are you, my evil twin? :)

@ranwhenparked: You'd say otherwise if it was on your meal plan at college and you ate it almost every day for the last 3 years because there's no other pizza available in the dining halls. Which is also why I can't go to Burger King anymore, either.

It doesn't just scream it, it tattoos it on your child's puppy and kicks it down the street for maximum effect.

Hey Sbarro! The 1970s called! They want their FUTURE 2015 designs back! And their mediocre mall-food-court pizza, too!

A lot of cars are designed by two people: one to do the front, and one to do the back. This is no exception, only the difference is that the guy designing the back exploded.

It's the only way to be sure.

Why can't we let sleeping brands lie?

Unlike new Volvos, it still retains its boxy design language.

@doug-g: Yeah, so I can carry intact snowmen in the back! Cuz that's what all yuppie families do, all the time, ever. Building snowmen in your own yard is for squares, yo.

I'd say the Mustang, only because it's American, and Americans have more guns.

@M4XVLTG3 makes rotary love: That explains why it's so heavy.

The truck doesn't actually move. The universe moves around it.

"Remember, it's gotta be better because it could hardly be worse."

What, no Shot Wheels?

Hey, it's a tough job, but somebody's gotta do it.

And all it plays is Andrew W.K.