90 year old Martha Firestone Ford is Goddamn sick and tired of this shit.

Will climb up Mount Everest but lock their doors when they see a black person.

Similar thing happened to me once. Went to a Jared and was immediately profiled as a cheap fuck with terrible taste.

Uh, no. They're not fond of those kinds of folks either.

Let’s be real, any Milwaukee Bucks player in the vicinity of rings is suspicious.

Bills fan? Must be anthrax.

They’re giving out practice squad trophies in Miami no wonder the team is bad at football they’ve been coddled and hugged and told they were special by their handlers and personal assistants in my day the only personal assistant a quarterback had was his conscience and if any scrub player picked him off in practice,…

I’ve run leagues for over 20 years now, and here’s what I’ve learned:

“But Harbaugh”, asked reporters, “what of illegals on our shores?”
“12 to 15 million, all working class or poor,
What shall we tell the teeming masses yearning at our door?”
Quoth the Ravens, “never more.”

See we are always taught evolution wrong, its not survival of the best, its survival of the most likely to reproduce. So even if you are a gibbering retard incapable of an ounce of fucking intelligence, as long as your sperm can find an ovum and your children don’t get eaten by you accidentally confusing them for a…

The private prison industry?

Florida State players showed extra willingness to comply with the media guide after learning that shit can’t consent.

I don’t really fault the teams for asking for money. I fault the stupid-ass politicians who say “yes” and the stupid-ass citizens who vote in stupid-ass politicians.

FINALLY!!!....[Shits in hands, throws it all over the office, strips to his socks and runs from the building screaming, “The first sign of the start of the 2015/16 NFL season is here!!!”]

He’s only 295 lb. But hey, beggars can’t be choosers. In July, a borderline fat guy TD will have to suffice. I don’t know about you, but I’m always in the throes of fat-guy-TD-withdrawal around this time of year. The CFL, in general, is like smoking football resin.

Uh, sure. The options in drinking beer aren’t just 1) microbrew IPA which fucks you up after 3 or 2) macrobrew that you can pound. You can find nice session beers or pilsners that you can enjoy in quantity that are also quality. Lately, I’ve been partial to Six Point Brewery’s The Crisp, recently, for example.