This is fucking fabulous. I have never loved Deadspin more.

This is seriously awesome. You’re carrying on the Gawker Media tradition of doing smart, challenging, in your face work. Keep it up.

I’m not pithy enough to make a good joke about this, so I feel compelled to go the serious route.

The underdog story of how a little known kid from a community college got drafted by the Dallas Cowboys.

I’m not sure they can do that according to the rules- but if they can’t do that, they SHOULD be able to. Nothing tells people not to try decking an official like punishing the entire team for his stupidity by declaring an instant loss to them. Seems fair to me.

If I was on that crew I would say that the game was over and the team that schmuck was on had forfeited.

I kinda like it. I can read power five analysis anywhere.

I’m sorry, I cannot get behind you re: that statue. That thing is fucking excellent. If I were a billionaire, I’d certainly have a statue built in my honor of me leading a charge of panthers with a football in hand as my weapon of choice. FUCK YEAH

I thought people from NJ usually took credit for stuff from New York, not Connecticut

But a certain faction of your uncle’s Facebook friends will swear he isn’t on an MLB roster RIGHT THIS MINUTE because of the war on Christianity.

... annnd Adrian Peterson loses a kid he actually cared about.

Then why did he bring this up as a counter-argument?

He believes that the killing of black people by police is justified by the crimes black people commit against each other. He clearly can’t handle free speech or criticism either.

Dear Officer Asswipe:

Here, let’s do this again and bold the part where he’s playing the victim:

Yeah but he can’t come out and say “look, America is racist, why do you expect our police forces to be any different?”

The law enforcement community cannot be continuously blamed for all of society’s problems, including racial divide, in our country.

Yeah what the hell, persecution complex much?

The law enforcement community cannot be continuously blamed for all of society’s problems, including racial divide, in our country.

“You guys are heroes”