There are no replacements. Are you mad? Scott's merely cute. His Daddy as The Man With No Name? He's an iconic sex bomb.

Preach. If we could build a man who looked like DB and was as clever and charming as, say, Stephen Fry, we'd be getting somewhere.

Here's what I can't figure out about Beyonce and Kim Kardashian and other similarly jet-setting parents - what about the jet lag? I travel between Australia and the US several times a year with my young kid and the jet lag is brutal . Like, taking years off my life. Granted, some people are more affected than others.…

I feel like you're missing the point of this conversation. We're not talking about government funding. In fact, I'd wager that most people involved in this discussion would like more government funding for PBS. Boston's affiliate is successful because they've stayed pretty true to the original PBS model and because…

It really depends on where you live. NYC and Boston still have amazing PBS affiliates, but Columbus OH is a husk of its old self. Pretty much nonstop Celtic Woman, Antiques Roadshow and self-help programming. It's dreadful. I'm pretty sure it has to do with whether your city skews red or blue.

Oh, I have done that! Burned the hell out of my feet on a tar road. I didn't feel it at all until it was too late. And the worst part was cleaning the burns and scraping the tar and gravel out of them later. I feel you, bandit.

When I was maybe 9, after watching a "very special episode" of 21 Jump Street, I cut "lines" of chalk (scraped chalk off with a razor blade) and snorted one. My sinuses haven't really ever been the same. I'm thinking I got the wrong takeaway from 21 Jump Street.

Short, sharp and just right.

Free babysitting, free food, open bar, great band. A fine, free time!

I didn't say "no kids." I let the parents bring them to the service and the reception, but I let it be known that there was a special room set aside at the hotel with babysitters, kids' snacks and movies. We sent several shuttles down the mountain back to the hotel after dinner and all the kids were on them (along…

This was my dad's M.O. too. We both like westerns and action films, so we'd go to the theatre a lot. We went to see The General's Daughter (without reading a single review, clearly) and died a thousand fiery deaths together. I still don't know why we didn't walk out. There were SO MANY SNACK BAR trips for that movie.

Isn't the "I use Mail Chimp" person Julia Roberts? I am nearly positive. That would explain the "You do?!" response.

I'm so sorry. Hugs to you. If it helps, I made friends with the dads before I did the moms. I was intimidated by the moms. I hope it goes well for you.

Amen. It's such a bummer. I only have one kid whose parent doesn't stick around. Of course, we invite him most often. The parents who are stayers are almost always single kid families (which is no big deal, so are we. Just observin'). The kid whose mom happily drops him off has three under 5. She's thrilled to offload…

Please share these tactics.

I didn't do cry it out, but I am ideologically for it. We just failed. The excuse I give myself is that my kid has asthma and it really does make you anxious. It's easier just to put them in your bed to keep an ear on it. Anyhow, I don't judge any parent for sleep styles or feeding or whatnot. That shit is HARD.

Yeah, that's me. Idiot.

Now you're just teasing me. I'm live in Australia now and, while I could probably find those ingredients, it would be an all-day kind of search.

Huh. What's wrong with that? Isn't that a good thing? People mystify me.

That's just delightfully descriptive.