Easy to find your sleeper because she’ll turn around three times.

TOM BRADY DEFLATED THE FOOTBALLS AND PEYTON MANNING DID PEDS AND RUSSELL WILSON HAS NEVER HAD SEX AND CAM NEWTON STILL HAS THAT FUCKING LAPTOP SOMEWHERE AND ANDY REID IS ACTUALLY TWO ANDY REIDS WEARING AN ANDY REID SKIN SUIT AND BRUCE ARIANS AND SAMUEL L. JACKSON GO HAT SHOPPING TOGETHER AND TIM TEBOW IS BEING…

For one thing, the cop’s shooting percentage would be sky-high.

Very unlikely since he normally will drive pretty far to take a shot.

(Sarah Koenig voice) But what would a woman who fux with boy shorts and pasties... be doing on Backpage?