Yeah its so boring which is why I remember exactly how she looked, what she said, what she was wearing, how she tasted, how she felt... but I was terribly bored the entire time. It’s definitely not the only time I almost had sex.

Also I went to Harvard and she was totally impressed with that. I didn’t bring it up, she…

Love to write shitty Penthouse Forum letters about my sex life that also mention superfluously that I went to Harvard.

It seems pretty ridiculous now, but there was an entire era before advanced stats became widespread where conventional wisdom was that anyone who scored 20+ ppg was elite, and if you were over 25 ppg, why, you were surely one of the very best of that era to play the game.

Take your damn, dirty, yet ultimately correct star.

But is he really? I feel like Marvin Lewis is really just a position that must always be held with the Bengals, regardless of who actually holds it.

I am, of course, ecstatic that the Warriors aren’t the champs again (being a GS hater and all), and congrats to Toronto, but it feels kinda empty when the dubs didn’t have their full squad for more than 10 minutes the entire series.

He’s a venture capitalist, so he doesn’t see it as much “shoving a basketball player” as “disrupting the sports fan experience paradigm.”

Him and most of Alabama with the exception of Saban.

After learning that Mark Stevens would be back courtside for Game 4, the Raptors announced that they would be adding Ron Artest, Stephen Jackson, and Jermaine O’Neal to their staff as “hydration specialists”.

A venture capitalist pushing around an actually talented person at their place of business? Wonders never cease.

It’s time like this when Donald Sterling misses being a minority owner.

That was one aspect of the argument, but the crux of the argument was that the Pelicans were so dysfunctional that they didn’t deserve to keep him or even get trade value for him, whereas since he wanted to go to the Lakers they simply deserved to get him.

the Warriors’ ball movement with Steph Curry and Klay Thompson as the focal points of their offense makes them harder to guard

If I was as good at anything in my life as Kevin Durant is at basketball I’d like to think that criticism would just roll off my back. I guess that’s naive on my part to think that but nonetheless ......this is one sensitive dude. 

Sure, a 7 footer dunking a basketball is not impressive. But you act as if there isn’t literally another 7-footer trying to physically stop him (or any player with leaping ability over, say, 6'8"). And you’re just blatantly ignoring things like shooting a ball into a hoop from 22+ feet away with or without being…

Man, watching Leonard is awesome. He’s so fucking good. I forgot he can just bully his way into the post and then jam it with that one massive paw. Plus he shoots and defends. He’s a joy.

The Booger Mobile is officially gone.

The height of that bar is statistically indistinguishable from ground level.

Like, just pull one of these every day, Shaq:

One night, this exchange happened and I laughed out loud at 1am: