I find myself way more excited when it’s on fleek or whatever. #teamaccurate

Someone should tell them drinking smartwater doesn’t actually make them smart.

State Institution for Male Defective Delinquents

This’d be Hollywood once again giving out Oscars for portrayals of the mentally ill.

There’s a county in Tennessee right now debating whether they should make a resolution to apologize to God for gay marriage

Nature? Hiking? Away from my computer? No thank you.

This must be a fantasy novel because no one would go gay for Trump.

I was about to ask if it being a man-bear penis made a difference, and that’s when I realized I’ve had enough internet for today.

Working in fashion, I’m sitting here in the trees, trying to chop down wood, screaming at the top of my lungs, “Can somebody just throw me some water” and everyone’s laughing at me.

Detractors of the law, however, worry that the bill will have a dampening effect on business growth in the state.

Wow, ok. There’s so much of this I don’t understand! So question: is a black girl joining a traditionally white sorority a selfless act of courage or a slap in the face of the black sororities?

Ha! Though maybe if penises were vibrating since the beginning of human history, boner stigma wouldn’t be as much of a thing... either that or constrictive codpieces would never have gone out of style.

In a recent study, over 40 percent of parents agree or strongly agree that vaccines played a part in the development of their children’s autism.

I’m sure there’s a black sorority she could join where her sisters will support her, but that’s not the point. She’s the Little Rock Nine all over again.

I feel like she’s basically a prom queen except sadder because this isn’t high school anymore yet you’re still doing the same shit.

University of Alabama: Get all the skills you need to oppress while you earn your degree!

I went to a concert that had a lot of older teens, and I’ve never seen so many vapers in my life. The crowd was a sea of little blue lights. I feel so out of touch.

I’m glad they didn’t just go with Emma Stone.

Poor Steve Guttenberg. It’s like no one understands how the printing press was vital for the spread of ideas across Europe.

But really, imagine if penises worked like vibrators?