im so upset right now

A few minutes before the tweets started, I had gotten an email from Domino's, letting me know that my pizza order was ready, payable with cash upon delivery. I'd shrugged it off as a glitch in their ordering system. I hadn't ordered a pizza, and the address listed on the order was an apartment I hadn't lived in for a…

now WHY THE HELL could he not have had this beautiful beard in the movie itself. Hot DAYUM, the man looks good with scruff. In my humble opinion much better than without (although obviously he's ridiculously gorg either way).

Hopefully she can turn her life around, allowing regrettable episodes like this to fade to distant mammaries.

Well, this DUI certainly got her...

A-breasted...

Might as well lend a hand. It can be awfully hard to get back to sleep when someone's working the ol sour cream rifle next to you.

Whether or not Palin is actually interested in running or in simply interested in generating more attention/money/power/whatever is uncertain.

Tina Fey just got really excited.

Also, like no one is putting words in your mouth. You're putting words in your own mouth by saying them to an audience.

FRANCIS!

FRAN-CIS!!!

This guy is just a walking Cards Against Humanity white card.

Women who have abortions are not people. They are slutty sinning sinner sluts. Duhhhhh.

[hork]

And if you're not making enough milk or losing the weight on time, it's because you're not eating enough/eating too much/not eating the right things!

Metrosexual if they're 35+, Hipster if they're in their twenties.

Oh no, I hate most mommybloggers.

Fuck you. I am a woman, and a mother, and I don't hate 99% of mothers. I hate this specific mommyblogger scourge.

This woman's train of thought: