I hate Christian Slater too. While I do think he is miscast here, he does just enough to make him not-unwatchable.

I did not know that gerbils had the "asshole burrowing" market cornered.

It's almost as if EDM producers are starting to realize that music can be made from something other than a computer.

Every time Mike Tomlin chest bumps a player or uses a big word incorrectly in a post game presser, a baby dies and I chuckle.

It's Clipboard Jesus, without a doubt. Dude is a rockstar.

You are correct. Pablo has only had two decent seasons and it numbs my mind to see people talk about him like he's a star, or like he's some huge disappointment this year. He has always been a disappointment.

“I feel like I have blue balls for a better matchup!” One of them sighed. The other chuckled.

Yannick LeJacq is what all the nerds at Joakim Noah's dad's highschool used to call him.

What good is burning a bridge to the entity your career is based around for the purposes of one article?

This does not detract from your point, but I believe you've mistaken King for Chris Mortensen, which is understandable because they are both basically Jerry from Parks and Rec.

Listen, this was a good dunk-off. But, are we getting to the point where actually holding the ball throughout the dunk is more impressive than taking it out of someone's hand mid-jump? I'm tired of that shit.

Andy Dalton is not a better Ginger than Conan O'Brien. In fact, Daniel Tosh is the Andy Dalton to Conan O'Brien's Conan O'Brien.

“arm-talent”

Andy, acting like Philip Rivers is a bad QB. GTFOuttaHere Andy!

Ah man, thanks! Yeah, it feels good knowing I'm one of the 2%.

Dude, get off your high horse. It's not too difficult to piece together that there is probably a rapper named Young Joc and he probably has a song called It's Going Down.

This has nothing to do with bringing black people down and everything to do with bringing women-beaters down.

Good to see that not everyone will just lick...err...kiss Jeter's ass.

You are a fascinating human being. Thank you for that.

Is this why teams coach all of their players to use as many PEDs as they can? I mean, it's only a 4 game suspension, right?