I never spend $2 bills or half dollar or dollar coins. I never gamble in a casino while the sun is still out. I never finish ALL my weed until I reload with more. I always sleep with my head pointing north and feet south. I will not own a red car. And never, ever eat green acid.

When ever I notice its 7:47 am or pm, I stick my arms out and make airplane noises.

I make it a point to avoid calling my alcoholic stepfather on his birthday. Because fuck him.

I will never shit in a Taco Bell for fear it will become the beans.

Dude, where is the spaghetti?

Deviled Eggs.

If you think you can just throw white bread and rolls in the same category as biscuits, you aren’t making the goddamn biscuits right.

Oh its got to be way weirder than that, he’s “never seen regular porn”. You’d come across regular porn looking for those.

From the look of this chart, this IS his hobby.

I feel like they’re just trying to undermine all the work I’ve put in.

Yes, animal cruelty only exists among rich, white people.

The Case Against Pets, pt. 2

Have pets. Don’t have pets. Each to their own. But don’t tell other people to have pets or not have pets. But also don’t tell people what not to tell people. Don’t make this post.

Oh man I love going days without Q-Tipping, and then when you finally make the plunge, it’s so so satisfying

KG isn’t eating shit lol. Amazing talent, admirable passion, but dude is the king of “posturing”.

just an FYI, if you have a long distance relationship, you or your partner are cheating.

Do you have any idea how men's bodies work?

New Blog AdequateMan!

As a ladyperson, I get extremely pissy about the plethora of listsicles enumerating the things I have to purchase in order to properly maintain my ladybits. My advice to the adequate man would be: BURN THIS SHIT LIST IN FIRE BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE.

Counterpoint: