The 10 yr old girl who sat behind us was in full Jedi gear and holding her Star Wars Teddy bear. She was balling her eyes out at the ending; it broke my heart. She has seen 3 Star Wars films in a theater and probably got her heart broke in all of them

If there’s no grass on the field, play ball.

with some tremendous concentration on a wacky catch by Alvin Kamara (who would then run in the two-point conversation)

I wonder if at some point he just starts shouting when he reads grocery lists aloud, too. “Eggs, Wheaties, apples, orange juice, milk, POWERADE! SEVENTH GENERATION! LIGHT BULBS! CAMPBELL’S SOUP! A NICE PIECE OF SALMON! canned tomatoes, soy sauce, spaghetti, butter.”

My daily prayer:

I know Flacco’s been dogshit this year (in large part because he has no weapons), but shit, he’s better than Ryan Mallett. You know who else is better than Ryan Mallett? Colin Kaepernick. Concussions are tricky business. If this is gonna be longer than a week or two, get his ass on the line and get it over with. But…

This is the most Cleveland response to a guy getting concussed.

Funny how the Yankees’ statement makes it sound like the expansion of the safety netting is akin to engineering the Large Hadron Collider, when they could’ve just said ‘look, it’s a pain in the ass and we’re trying to figure out if it’s worth the hassle’.

Because not everyone is such a twat.

Flacco got robbed!

“Got Damn!”

-Noob Noob

Making fun of his weight is just picking low hanging fruit, which Christie would never touch, unless it’s covered in chocolate or filling a pie; because he’s a fatty fatty 2x4, can’t fit through the kitchen door.

I heard Barron Trump calls Robert Mueller “Papa Bob.” People are saying this.

Man Obsessed With Other’s Men’s Balls and/or Maybe Where Their Balls Used To Be, or What They Have Become Through Modern Medicine Just Cant Stop Thinking About Balls And Where They Should Be Privately Momentarily Exposed For Urination Which I Thought Was Private But Apparently This Man Wants To Look To See Just For…

Cardinals Christian Day? I can’t think of another event so guaranteed to have nothing but people I would hate going to it. Fingers crossed for a tornado!

I bet Pat McAfee could do it.

Yeah but you were a kicker so it doesn’t really count.

Yeah, but you don’t get to use the Billionaire’s Son Multiplier of 0.3 to adjust your times.

I’ve done Murph a couple times (no vest), and I think my best time ever was around 55 minutes. For comparison, I can run a mile in 5:30, two miles at 13:00 without feeling particularly winded, rock climb regularly at V4s pushing to V5s, and oh yeah, I played in the fucking NFL.

“Lucy! Lucy, get in here!”