Somewhere, Heidi Cruz is reading your comment and cringing

+1 end zone pick

And here I thought he just collected bottle caps.

One time he bought four or five boxes of the Quaker brand instant oatmeal instead of Kroger’s store brand. He still openly regrets splurging on something so unnecessary.

Of course he got the big heavy massage chairs from Brookstone- I think they’re the D Series Massage Collection. If he was smarter, he’d have gotten the smaller, lighter, but superior E-Series. I think we all know, though, that Flacco would never buy the E lite.

It won’t splinter due to the core republican value of being a spineless slave to authority.

As if his hands could wrap all the way around a baby’s neck.

Just the “sugar free” ones. Once crushed a big bag of sugar free gummies during a movie and then didn’t leave the bathroom for 6hrs once I got home.

But seriously - if you have an opportunity to insult a decorated war veteran you have to take it, right?

what’s a pederast?

He probably could have gone a step further and responded to press questions only with quotes from the film, but he’d probably get fined by the league for calling John Fox a pederast.

“Brian Kelly is a fucking coward who knows he can only get away with that bullshit if he’s bossing around unpaid teenagers.”

Bills fans don’t take a day off

I was completely expecting the ass of a big fat hairy dude as well.

Your move detroit

aka, Schilling’s Byproxy

my only tweet of the night

i’m bad at the maths, what’s 1/3 of 77 cents on the dollar, exactly?