Her comedic timing is awesome. I loved her in ‘Good Girl’. And her shit makes money because we like her. 

Statutory rape is fine in your book?!

I am going to a party tomorrow night. I would like the theme to change from ‘friend’s birthday’ to ‘Don Jr Indictment’. 

Where might one do that? I got some debt. Remember the Orange is the New Black season where they sold underwear? Maybe that’s still a thing?

My ex of 16 years got with someone two months later, sooooo....? Yeah, it’s whatever anyone wants/feels for themselves.

There was a moment in my life when I realized mayyyyybe it’s better to just be single and get laid for a bit when I need it. I’ll follow Ms. Beckinsale’s lead. ALSO, she’s fucking hilarious.

Oh Jesus, this is so spot on I weep.

Why do we have to fundraise around it though? The offices pay for their guests to attend. We just need to suggest this. I feel like Maxine would be on the wavelength. 

Ooooh, as a Denver-dweller, I sure hope so. Also! Gimme those mushrooms! 

I commented on an instagram post (I know, I know) saying McConnell doesn’t work for people he works for corporations, and BumFuck McGee commenter replied ‘Are you saying you’re an illegal?’

One of the things that concerned me about this situation was...how did she AND her staff, not one single one of them think, hmmm...maybe we should talk to Cherokee Nation first? Or if any of her staff did have concerns, that they couldn’t voice them?

I’m much more in favor of automatic voter registration and mail-in ballots. Making it a federal holiday doesn’t help many low-wage workers who will still have to work.

he’s been talking for so long about getting indicted, would’ve thought he’d be smart enough to have done it but then I remembered...it’s these dummies.

I’m going to read this again until I orgasm. 

That’s what’s a little terrifying, right? I’d rather have 45 locked up before any of his kids go. He might just start a little war as distraction and out of rage when Ivanka gets swept up.

this comment is a thing of beauty

Megan + Nick and Emily + John are why I’m not stopping til I find that kind of love. 

He is apparently planning to travel around the country on a book tour for the next three months before making a final decision about whether to run.

I botox and can blink just fine. 

Could’ve been a 400 lb fat guy in the basement even