That is some carnage. I "witnessed" (audibly) something similar once. When I was in law school and living in an apartment complex, I woke up on a Sunday morning before 7 a.m. to a series of loud bangs and crunches. I went outside and an entire row of cars parked in front of the building across from mine were…

Fair enough. By the way, is your name a Butthole Surfers reference? If so, I am surprised you didn't say "Pepper."

Maybe its just my aversion to pop music in general, but I find Drake to be mediocre, at best. His voice is monotone, his flow is average, and his lyrics are not particularly creative. That being said, music is subjective, so I don't knock you for liking him.

What do you use on french fries? Vinegar? Don't say mayo. Please don't say mayo. I just ate and I want to keep my breakfast down.

We need to get Caliendo on this, playing Mel Kiper, Jr. evaluating tape of Mel Kiper, Jr. Jr.

WTF? Have they never heard of mustard? Or honey mustard? You may need to talk with a divorce attorney.

a/k/a, the Texas hat trick

For me, the news of Giambi retiring was similar to the news of long-time NHLer Ray Whitney retiring: I didn't even know he was still playing.

I think they we tend to mollycoddle people and make excuses for them, or let them make excuses for themselves. One's own weight, like most things, is generally within one's own own control.* The rest is just excuses. The bottom line is that being a healthy weight is about eating less (or at least, smarter) and…

It takes a lot of hard work and dedication to consistently shoot a lower percentage than your team's average throughout your career.

What if I look good naked? Like really, really good?

Cook some bacon in advance and refrigerate it. Then fry a couple of eggs (takes less than 5 minutes to heat the pan and fry the eggs) and toast some bread while that is going. Warm the bacon in the same pan you cooked the eggs in for a few seconds. Full breakfast in under 5 minutes.

My local wine store will take back a bottle without a receipt. They know me and I only do it when it is justified. They also took back beer once when it was flat. This is one of the advantages of shopping where everyone knows you.

My boss always tell this good one (involving a server's stupidity) about French Onion Soup Au Gratin. He orders the soup at some diner in the Midwest. When the soup comes out, there is no cheese on it. He hails the waitress and asks "where is the cheese?" She replies, "you didn't ask for any." He says, "it is…

I've never seen someone so happy to have loaned the government a "huge" amount of money, interest-free.

Anyone else think it is hilarious that Dan (e-mail of the week) didn't seem to question the fact that his mother knew the porn producers?

Somewhat on-topic: I tried the Sierra Nevada IPA s Variety Pack this past weekend. I had already had the Extra IPA and the Ruthless Rye IPA (the former being just "meh" for me, and the latter being one of my favorite bottled beers), and the pack included the Golden IPA and Blindfold Black IPA.

One of my favorite things to do in GTA (offline) is to just try to kill as many NPC as possible before dying. I usually do this when I have a friend or two over and we take turns. We award bonus points for creative kills. We will just see who can get the most kills and how creative we can get with killing NPC. You…

I recently read that the hippos kill the most humans per year in Africa (around 3,000!!! per year). The rhino is #11 on the list. Not saying this decides who wins head to head, but it is relevant.

Some people questioned whether it was satire. I am just here to set the record straight.