As someone who has dealt with obesity, PTSD, and depression, Fat Thor doesn’t bother me one tiny bit, and Thor getting through it and having a nice lil training montage is fine and awesome, actually. What the fuck, guys? Chiiiilllll ouuuuttt one tiny lil bit

Just a deeply unpleasant read. What the fuck! It’s like the writer had an editorial mandate to come up with something shitty to say no matter how small and tangential 

lol I’m sure he does

I think it’s just because these movies suck ass. Rowling being a constantly raving lunatic stapling her entire legacy on a losing fight against kindness and empathy probably isn’t affecting the box office as much as the movies just being lame and no one caring enough to make a trip to an expensive theater to sit…

Go Spanish instead of Italian, and you can drop the “e” to make it even better

Fuckin wild

We really just need to eat the billionaires to make the world markedly better. We don’t even have to eat Larry David.

Eat the rich

Because the Catholic church is and has always been evil to its bone, there are only like two things I can deal with that have Catholicism as a major aspect. Fleabag and Midnight Mass come to mind, but that’s pretty much it. I don’t know that I really believe in evil as an actual thing, but the Catholic church could…

No, but the AV Club sold their soul and now like half of the content on this site is just marketing copy handed to them from various PR teams. I guarantee a ton of the articles published here are now not even actually written by AV Club writers anymore. It’s pretty common practice to just hand articles from…

A.) This looks absolutely delightful.

Unhinged

The Witch is one of my all-time favorites. A lot of artists would struggle their whole career to create something only approaching The Witch, so holy hot damn this guy is hardcore.

He’s done X-Files and cop shows, so like, it really could be anything. I’d be into a Gilligan sci-fi show

Building a time machine to go back in time and determine whether this guy needed to be bullied more or less to prevent him from having a huge music career. Dude gives me fuckin hives

Really! Holy shit, gotta start my campaign

The queen bees at my high school were richer than me, but not the children of fuckin multi-millionaires 

He left the academy. Can’t be nominated.

His entire career has been an exceptionally precise and carefully-tended exercise in brand management to make it to a Best Actor win. Yeah, I think it’s probably devastating. 

I truly think the Goonies is one of the eighties movies that it really makes sense to make a nostalgia sequel for. A bunch of dudes had the craziest shit ever happen to them as kids, they discovered a pirate treasure, and probably became media sensations. You could deconstruct the media digestion cycle of child stars…