I’m sure it was worth him basically missing the birth of his child and all those sleepless nights away from his family to develop such a potent and unstoppable offense. 

What the Falk? The Jets are a Ficken mess!

Or when he bypassed the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ mid-1980s morgue of an organization to sign for big bucks with the USFL. 

How did he feel when Joe Montana demanded a trade out of San Francisco, finally cementing Young's starting role once and for all?

Really? Dysfunction Intersection? Dysfunction Junction for the win!

He always plays that after his verbal spewing. I was just reading that he would blast “Tiny Dancer” on his plane during campaign trips so that people couldn’t sleep as he considers sleep a sign of weakness. He also has some fetish for beating Elton John’s attendance figures at different arena’s around the country and…

He’ll go down in history.

+1 for a coal miner’s daughter

They’ll have to let him play in the games now. 

No part of me feels good about laughing at that, but no part of me stopped me either.

Have you seen Pittsburgh strippers? It’s already a nightmare.

So Rudolph is going to have to lead the way?

At least his prostitute was of age

Yes sir, you have won Today’s Internet! (Sirens go off, bells ring, confetti falls from ceiling.’).

I thought the last 10 months would have been sufficient warning about the dangers of replacing a competent black man with an inexperienced and unqualified white guy, but here we are again.

McDermott and Peterman should walk out of the stadium at halftime and start looking for new jobs.

“These so-called Patriots are putting hard working Steelers out of work! We need to bring back the industries! Sad!”

Congratulations to the world champion Green Bay Packers.

Prosperity Gospel assholes are the worst. The. Worst.

Are you kidding? That’s a serious upgrade! That horse is like, “Sure, fine, jack me off with a traffic cone and freeze my semen, pump me full of horse steroids, drug me until my flop sweat is a controlled substance, but I’m not going anywhere near that motherfucker.”