Serious question

- STDs very often do not present symptoms, meaning you could be unwittingly giving others diseases

Ok but the last one is like:

So, having children should only be a luxury afforded to the affluent?

It doesn’t sound like they couldn’t afford to have children though; just that they couldn’t afford to have one of the parents out of work.

The other cats hate the three who participated. “Fuck you guys, fucking sell outs. Clive, you literally jumped through hoops for those assholes. And Jeremy. The applause banner. Really, you sad motherfucker? Where’s your dignity?”

I was in Atlanta on business and took MARTA instead of renting a car. I had the worst head cold of my life and could not smell anything. I was coughing up a storm. About 5 minutes in to my ride I noticed people were staring at me strange, almost with fear. This went on for about two stops until a nice Asian lady came…

Hey man.

Everybody pukes.
Everybody cries.
Everybody puuuuuukes.
Sooooooometimes.

I totally puked down the side of the Great Pyramid at Giza!

How do you manage to fail at hoodies?

Love to chest bump and MC like the youths. What’s up, my voters?

So cranky. So awkward. Crankward.

Already making ‘Merica Great Again.

Yeah, my husband likes to complain that he was really uncomfortable sleeping on the pull-out couch in my room after my emergency c-section. I feel for the guy.

I know it’s stereotypical to say, but ugh, men.

My Uber driver the other night, noticing that i was going home from the bars by myself, tried to convince me to go buy a book online that would teach me how to get any women to sleep with me.

I gave him and his stupid fucking newsboy cap 1 star.

see this kind of story is why I lose my mind if my period’s two weeks late even though I haven’t seen a dick in a year

You weren’t necessarily wrong... going really slow can be awesome. In some ways it can heighten pleasure.

two people with their genitals entwined slowly squirming on each other

When I was younger, I very earnestly explained to my little friends that a blow job was when you licked the neck of the person you liked and blew air on it so it got that cold, tingly feeling.