Posting that dictionary definition really doesn’t help him, since he used it as a noun, and that definition is not shown.
Elbe
burtle
True, but people would probably ignore it anyway. Because they wanted to.
Fuck this. All these assholes coming out against Grace is hurting MeToo more than anything else. Misogynists are jumping for joy that apparently coercive behavior and pressuring women is not seen as a bad thing. Everyone keeps slut-shaming Grace, or straight-up ignoring the facts of the situation. She came out BECAUSE…
Not deliberately misreading, just pissed off. I agree that what Ansari allegedly did was not, legally speaking, sexual assault. I also think that’s a strawman argument — something doesn’t need to be illegal to be wrong (or “shitty”) and to deserve a public airing.
She also literally said no just before they put their clothes back on... after which he started trying to take them off again. Wow, so unclear right?
the slapping and yelling wasn’t because women were better, stronger, gutsier, or grittier in the old days: this struggle was tied up inextricably in female purity and the stakes a woman faced in her eventual, and all but obligatory married life—where, by the way, once there, she had no recourse should her husband…
By going “back to his place” the only thing you’re consenting to is going into his home.
We’re expected to simultaneously believe that men are the arbiters of all logic, reason, and leadership ability while also understanding that men are dumb idiot babies who can’t understand or recognize obvious discomfort or the basic idea that “if you have to persuade someone to do something, they don’t want to do it.”
Do you know who does stuff like this? Who ignores communication from their partner, going ahead with whatever they want to do sexually, while always making sure to stay on the legal side of things? PREDATORS. It is not the men who care deeply about making sure their partners want to be there and are comfortable but…
On verbal and non-verbal communication:
It’s a troll post. The edit is a dead giveaway.
“And to suggest that sticking your fingers down a woman’s throat on the first hookup is unexpected - please get out more.”
Um...what?
Going to someone’s place does not mean you consent to any and all sexual acts following your arrival there, and this idea is damaging as fuck.
If you consent to vaginal sex but not to anal sex, but someone has anal sex with you anyway, when you didn’t consent to it, would you say “Oh but I went back to their place so…
You don’t get a pass on misbehavior because you’ve done some “ally” shit. If you can’t honestly assess your past behavior and accept honest criticism of it, you were never much of an ally to begin with.
“to suggest that sticking your fingers down a woman’s throat on the first hookup is unexpected - please get out more.”
Yup, yup, yup. My biggest problem with the Babe piece was how poorly it was reported, which doesn’t diminish Grace’s experience, but leaves it open to these sorts of attacks.
“Show me a smart, competent young professional woman who is utterly derailed by a verbal unwanted sexual advance or an inappropriate comment about her appearance, and I will show you a rare spotted owl.”
This article really underscores that while jezebel is great with pointing out the many flaws of lena dunham’s twitter feed, it doesn’t “get” feminist theory.