Go to bed, Elon.

“They probably took skin cells from Kim Kardashian’s labia...” FTFY

They are incredibly commonplace in the entire megalopolis from DC to Boston. It’s just another car here, but I still read comments on Jalopnik of people saying they have only seen one Tesla in their area... ever. The same goes for Subaru: my old boss was from Missouri and was blown away by how common Subaru is in the…

...or don’t have kids. I know a dude that does well for himself, but is arguably not rich and he drives a new Lamborghini. He busted his ass to buy the car and it is literally his child. When I look at the things that I could afford without kids I cry a little, but don’t regret the two awesome mistakes I made. My boss…

Is jalopnik too cheap to buy you a jalopnik email address? 

You are shmee 

I have a Stihl MS250. I like it, I really have no complaints aside from emissions. I’m trying to decide between Stihl, Husqvarna, and maaaaybbee Echo. There is a Stihl platinum dealer 2 miles away, so from a warranty and service standpoint Stihl makes the most sense. Getting 36” bar capable saw is a big commitment, so…

I got a chain saw sharpener. I will be buying myself a new chainsaw with a 36” bar. This has nothing to do with cars, except the commonality of ICE. If anyone has any saw suggestions let me know, I’m on the fence and brand agnostic. I have to drop a massive maple that died standing and will use the saw to mill lumber…

Not all aluminum is foil.

Dear token_liberal,

Your take is Brutal.

I agree with this sentiment. I had said it here before a while back, but maybe Tesla should focus on being the Cisco of the electric car world and not the Apple. 

Counterpoint. My parents owned this model, but in a different color. Yes, with a manual. The manual isn’t worth owning for the novelty: first gear had a vague and fickle engagement point and third gear resonated, which shook the entire car. My parents took the car to the dealership and several other mechanics and no…

This video makes me think that these dudes quietly voted for Trump. 

However, universities create local economies unto themselves. My undergrad school was a prime example. For every $1 that the city invested in the school, the city / community was returned nearly $3 from school and student activities - and that was a crappy SUNY school. There are some schools where this may not be the…

The 5.3 likely leaves enough room under the hood for a small village to seek shelter in. At least that was the case with my old Silverado.

But the Panamera wagon... I’m about to get a promotion. Don’t shatter my dreams.

I know it’s wrong of me, but I was expecting the doors to swing open and a bunch of people to fall out spewing vomit all over the road from motion sickness.

If you are hiring, I have no direct skill set, but I became notable for telling the leadership of a high powered consultant firm to, “Get on the team or get the fuck out of the way,” which apparently no one had said to this firm before. I now have a very productive working relationship with them.