Probably the most important thing to keep in mind throughout this process.

I left my kitchen to comment on this thread

Well, allow me to say, and fuck you too, John Kasich.

Engagement shower? What the....... Like what the heck is that?

Okay guys! Time to eat mediocre cupcakes and play weird diaper games while watching our pregnant friend unwrap boxes of nearly identical onesies!

UGHHH nothing is worse than a baby shower. They are unredeemable.

Yep. I’m not married/engaged, but I’m the girlfriend of a best man this summer.

And baby showers, which are one million times worse than weddings.

You make an inaccurate assumption in this post:

I take it you’ve never planned a wedding.

Your problem is that you have too many friends. I don’t know 26 people well enough to be invited to their weddings. It’s cheaper that way.

The real Loch Ness monster got the hell out of doge because when everyone is looking for you then you go to the one place no one else wants to be..... Flint, Michigan. Unfortunately due to the high level of led poisoning the monster is now severely disabled and needs medicaid.

“Wanna play cat and mouse?”

If Craig’s middle name doesn’t start with an “A” it should.

The best one will be the one his future ex-wife will write 5 years from now. She already exudes all the joy of a basement-confined hostage when standing next to that unsettling flesh bag.

This is exactly the kind of petty bullshit I need in my life. No sarcasm. I genuinely need to read this book yesterday.

Literally the only good thing about Cruz’s candidacy has been this guy.

Thing about that is that aliens, at least, are real.