Yeah, good pee content, but it doesn’t make up for a complete lack of poo content.

Have you ever been in a bathroom used only be a woman, let alone one with multiple women? They’re fucking disaster zones.

Too soon.

no offense to these substitutes, but i hate them all so far.

Why does the server come when you’re mouth is full? Because you’re eating, that’s why.

“Why do servers always check in when my mouth is full?”

I worked in the industry for almost a decade. I can forgive just about anything. But when I sit down in a restaurant, someone had better acknowledge my existence and soon. If you’re slammed, you don’t have to come take my order or bring me anything (even a menu) or spend any time at my table, but for fuck’s sake,…

I appreciated that final comment. My wife and I had that once. The wait staff could be seen talking at the bar, and we sat for about 10 minutes (and it was not over crowded). They looked surprised when we got up and left, walking right past them to the door.

Only the most developed palates can handle rubbing alcohol infused with a pine cone, you Philistine.

This could be the whitest comment in deadspin history.

Capri Suns are not to be drank in any fashion besides in a pouch straight from the straw, you animal.

Christ. This reads like a college junior’s introduction to a bar. Ginger Beer is no less a basic ingredient than Coca-Cola. If you have a spirit and you mix it with one mixer, you have yourself a basic cocktail. Maker’s Mark and ginger beer is pretty basic. This is no different than a Jack and Coke. If a bloody mary…

Ginger beer doesn’t come out of the spray gun at your local dive.

Jack Daniel’s is not a rail liquor.

Isn’t it a mobile game? This is pretty much what 99% of mobile games are.

If you need an app to chip away at credit card debt you need help.

People don’t go to a bar to drink. If they just wanted to drink, they could go to the liquor store and pick up a six-pack of really good beer for about a fifth of what they would spend on cheaper fare on a night out. They don’t go to a bar to drink; they go to a bar to socialize. Even if they’re by themselves, they…

that sounds like reading the lines to me.

The assholes got to you before you finished typing your first post? Damn, they’re efficient.

Wow, DJ Long-in-the Tooth, good job with mixing all those Phat Beats. Now, go back and read the original question. You know, where the writer said that they understood that night clubs aren’t going to be quiet places, but where a regular old restaurant can, indeed, adjust the volume on the music.