“Let’s take a shitty situation we created...then fuck it up even worse. But it’s all good, long as the rich stay rich and the poor...well, who gives a fuck about the poor?” -- 90% of politicians and 100% of the GOP.

Or, you run a massive company and do risky things, and the government will give you millions.

But I don’t have any student loan debt left. Can I have $10,000?

I bought a new GLI on Friday in Austin. The dealer said that Friday was busier than the entire week before hand. So, maybe there’s some hyperbole in there. For me, I got a good price ($6k off save the manuals discount) and being a 2019 got the 6 year/72k warranty, too.

The only person worth 1000x minimum wage is Tom Hanks.  He’s a national treasure.

Imagine if the industry had spent the last decade developing a modern sales model that didn’t require hours of in-person up-selling and paperwork, instead of lobbying for legislation that required it. 

At least one of these describes most large businesses. While it’s appealing, it would put a lot of people out of work.

You realize they are doing nothing of the sort. If anything they are devising ways to make their CVT less exciting. 

Which is ironic since Audi is basically a dressed up VW. #sorrynotsorry

When you Hurácan’t beat them, join them!

My wife has systemic lupus with lung involvement so we're taking this lockdown, social distancing seriously but others not so much. Despite her dad being 65 he doesn't see this as being a big deal and he went to a swap meet yesterday in a city were there was a confirmed outbreak. 

Nasty. Nasty, nasty question. You’re a nasty person asking nasty questions. Remember when I fixed the economy and made Apple move iPhone manufacturing to America? I’ve also put Mike Pence in charge of keeping us all safe. Overall I’m doing fantastic with macarenavirus. Kristen Lee, she’s just not nice.

No, you aren’t the only one.

It’s a walker not a Stairser.

I read your last sentence and thought “Is he gonna say the Panther market is about to become saturated?” ‘Cause I’m kind of dark like that. 

So much wasted candy in those vending machines...

They already are, paying through the tax bills of their employees.

How about we never eat anything again, never travel anywhere, don’t smoke any more crack, and all just wither away and die in our bubble homes. 

This could be an electric motorcycle range extender solution. Just carve a bit out of the top for Fido.

Yea got to agree with assessment. Pew is definitely a turd in the punchbowl but have you seen some of the ‘stars’ of the FIFA meatheads?