Little chance these Tweets erase the widespread suspicion that Embiid's real problem stems from a deficiency in irony.

man if I had a dollar for every time I told that to a girl...

Where have you been? Hibernating?

Bosh not worth more than $8M? You high? Dude is a max player anywhere else. EASILY.

What has Carmelo ever done to prove you 'd want him on a team that's restructuring its entire make-up just to win more titles?

"Chris Bosh has also opted out of his remaining $42 million"

The most impressive part is that that odds on Saurez biting someone in what is probably an average of 5 games expected, is 174-1. That's insanely low odds for doing something extremely crazy in only 5 games. I would've put those at 1000-1, and I would've lost a lot of money.

is this something I should be contacting the police about... all I'm hearing is you saying "I'm going to stab someone at Wimbledon

"And as we sit here, on a humid night in Los Angeles, having just witnessed the towering Clayton Kershaw put together a masterpiece incomparable to but a few others, puddles of orange and blue sports drink pooling at his lumbering feet, I am reminded of the 1905 World Series, Game 6. Christy Mathewson had just pitched…

Abby (Abbie? Abbi?)

It's the saddest day of the year for me. I don't even know why I look at threads like this. I can't even start to imagine what having a loving father is like.

*clinks wine glass*

I was in therapy for a long time but not since his suicide. I need to go back. Thank you, I needed to hear this today.

While my stepdad and I get along really well, my father and I...do not, because he is a right-wing nutjob who has chosen to make himself more ignorant and because he never protected me from emotional abuse at the hands of his wife. I'm calling him today, because three brief phone calls a year is the compromise I have…

My father was a raging racist also and I am not. I held a gun on him when I was 12 and the only reason I didn't kill him was because of the mess I would have been left with. Funny irony is now I have that same gun under my bed. I hate father's day.

I think it's hard to love someone who is incapable of love. My father should have never had children. I don't know why he did because he doesn't love anything, least of all his children. It's chilling.

I know mine but he isn't worth a damn.

Could we have a post for all the bad-dad stories too? Just to even things out?