I bet he can still clear the rack. As a conditioned athlete, after years upon years of training, and his body adapted to handle the weight, he could still likely retain the ability. Of course, I'm talking about the pastries rack at Panera, but still.

My best friend and I spent almost a full week playing Ninja Gaiden at his house one summer. Since there were no saves, we'd progressively get farther in the game each day and then pause it at night so we could pick up where we left off the next day. After about 5 days of non-stop ninja action, we had finally made it…

"Hey babe, you know what would be so fucking hot? If we had sex while I regressed to my childhood."

True story: I beat Tyson as a kid. I was playing at the neighbor's house with their two kids and we were doing the typical 10-year old thing - playing video games all night until our eyes bleed. It was about midnight (Saturday) before I worked my way up to Tyson. I had faced him before and, like most people, got curb…

I finally beat Jaws when I was around 23. Then I ran down the road with my arms out to see if I could fly. I couldn't, but that shark was still dead as fuck.

umm, don't you you mean ASS FOR YOU, TODD

Is "AS FOR YOU, TODD" going to become a thing? Because I am very fine with it becoming a thing.

AS FOR YOU, TODD

It makes no sense to compare what Brooks did with the people profiled in Weingarten's excellent piece. They are completely different scenarios, and it undercuts your argument to put them in the same league. Regardless, I have no problem whatsoever with what Brooks did. You don't need to "tell everyone it's totally OK…

I think the best part is Cuomo's "wait, what happened, why is everyone screaming" reaction.

mac lover? Dude its a good analogy. Same here, I'd be like wtf and work slower until I got used to it.

It's got electrolytes

You seem nice.

Let's just say this interview was

this is underappreciated.

Phil is a self employed professional, a devout Christian and family man, provided the Phil and Amy Michelson foundation and dared to protest the high taxes in California.

+1 "GET IN THE HOLE"

I don't care how many times I see that photo, it keeps being funny.

Fuck