He ain’t come here to play “reply to dumbass fan.”

What the shit is up with bacon packaging - could there be a less user-friendly system, especially when you don’t use the whole pack? What am I supposed to do with half a pack of bacon to preserve freshness?

Is your waist size “equator” by any chance?

Right? Should every 21st-century Steelers title have an asterisk denoting the fact they’ve never beaten Brady when it matters? I say yes.

What happened to the “MAGARY” tab?

I got scared and had to check the schedule to make sure the goddamn Jets weren’t playing on SNF.

They’ve done it to a RB and a WR, so a QB is next.

My favorite was:

It’s funny because there are people who are delusional enough to earnestly believe the NFL is discriminating against an athlete for being a Christian.

Would you rather be your current height with a full head of hair, or 6'5 and bald/balding?

The guy once threw a fumble (yes, a fumble) off of his RB’s shoes. Anything is possible.

I don’t know if Trevor Seimian (I just had to Google his last name for correct spelling)

Marvin Harrison is the only WR whose careeer ended after 2004 to make it in yet, and he had to kill for that.

but Colin Kaepernick, right now, would win at least double the number of games Bortles would.

Those wings were actually pretty good IMO.

I highly doubt any team has more three and outs over the last 7 years.

If he were black, people would have said they finally got tape on him.

Missed the deadline for submissions so here’s mine:

She is so sure, so steady, and so knowledgeable during a broadcast that it’s hard to imagine a major basketball broadcast without her.