It’s about time they get an Indian actor to play a character that has been so unfairly stereotyped as a, *checks notes* successful business owner with a PhD, Springfield’s most eligible bachelor, youth hockey coach, volunteer firefighter, member of Homer’s bowling team, barbershop quartet, and vigilante group, and a…

Not gonna judge. Go nuts. Just don’t be the one driving everywhere with your foot resting on the brake just enough to keep your brake lights on 100% of the time (the tell-tale sign of the left-foot braker). That’s both annoying and not safe.

Underrated line in Casablanca: “I like to think you killed a man. It’s the romantic in me.” Claude Rains’ delivery of that whole speech is *chef’s kiss*, but that particular line is a personal favorite.

Damn near everything Brad Pitt says in True Romance.
“Get some beer. And . . . some cleaning products.”
“They were here, and they said they were going to go there. And then . . . they went.”
“Don’t condescend to me, man . . . fuckin’ kill you.”

“Mmm... I’m a little bit lonely these days.”

When I’m frustrated with people I always say (internally) before continuing: “alright you primitive screw-heads”

Also when Matilda says she hasn’t had sex in a while and Hansel says “what, like eight days?”

Any number from Evil Dead II or Army of Darkness (Evil Dead II being the better movie, but Army of Darkness really nailing the one-liners). I’ll go with:

This comes to mind every time I see someone get owned, either in real life, or in the movies:

The whole dinner scene in Rushmore, but mostly this:

Dude, that includes what GM pays for ALL of their benefits including medical insurance, retirement, and probably taxes. My employer pays way more than just my salary and I bet yours does too.

Why should you earn any more than the guy in the plant?

Flying taxis make sense - there’s already a roadmap to success.

1942 Foreman: Okay, we’re no longer making pencil sharpeners, boys. From this day on we’re making bullets.

You’re doing a disservice by not including his image. I think this screenshot should be used for the “divorced unstable midwest guy” Wikipedia entry.

Enough about her attorney, how are things with your ex?

Once he said the word “katana” everyone instantly understood why he was divorced. 

Pretty sure Trump has had at least some form of negative impact on every living soul on the planet by now.

my dude, getting the koreas to settle down for a bit matters very little when you’re actively trying to light the world on fire. but sure, you do you.

I didn’t know we live in N Korea where we aren’t allowed to criticize our president when he is totally wrong. Funny that instead of agreeing or defending his policy you play the whining card.