As far as I’m concerned:

Not to generalize, but I’m sure most women who marry old sacks of crap like Trump are eventually hoping to be wealthy widows. Becoming First Lady must be the worst possible outcome for Melania.

I always used to assume it was heavy-handed cosmetic procedures. Lately, I’ve started to wonder if she really needs her vision corrected, but won’t, for obvious reasons.

IT IS NOT NATE SILVER’S FAULT THAT PEOPLE DON’T UNDERSTAND PROBABILITIES. He gave Trump a higher chance of winning the presidency than the Cubs had of coming back and winning the World Series after Game 4 and we literally all JUST saw that happen. He doesn’t conduct the polls, he aggregates them, and there was no way…

So he should change his name to Nate Bronze? Lowering the bar seems to really resonate with the people these days, amirite?

This is so realistic I can’t even tell if it’s satire or not.

But really, who is good enough for Rihanna?

Pho

He’s not elevem guys, case closed.

I think that a discussion between friends about people they find attractive and the kind of things you’d like to do with them (please, not “to them” FFS) is totally normal and I think we all know where those discussions go from “colorful” to “gross.” Yes, writing this stuff down and giving people rankings is a…

Haaa, that’s actually not a bad idea at ALL. I’m 43, so maybe I’ll start telling people I’m 60!

I’m a 41-year-old undergrad and I had to whip out my drivers’ license to prove it to a classmate who straight-up didn’t believe me. Because I AM JUST THAT CUTE, MAN. So cute!

This is actually brilliant.

You don’t like it when I link to tweets here?

YOU STOP THAT

Melania wasn’t throwing shade; she still fully supports her husband.

Can you prove she didn’t ?

You are clearly a glass half-empty person. Obviously, now there are fewer orphans in the system and a great piece of land for the new Trump Resort.

She’s in denial. He wouldn’t try and grab her anywhere on her body. In fact, he would humiliate her and call her fat and ugly.