“Well, I believe in the soul, the knob, the quim, the swell of a bird’s arse, the curling free kick, bangers and mash, brown ale, that the novels of Jane Austen are self-indulgent poorly-edited bunk. I believe Jack the Ripper never left a note. I believe their ought to be an Act of Parliament outlawing Omniturf and…

He didn’t even linger on top of Foles for a second after making the tackle.  Not even enough time to kinda reach down and see if the rumors are true, not even just a little graze along the inner thigh, just to see, nothing weird, but just a brush with the back of the hand to see if you can feel something alive; like I…

We get it, Brady isn’t a receiver. You don’t have to rub his nose in it. 

This is such a good burn.

There was a survey I read about, long ago and I failed finding it last time I referenced it so not even bothering this time, that showed people would rather make $75k to their neighbors’ $50k than $125k while their neighbors made $150k.

Is Adrian Beltre the nicest angry man or the angriest nice man?

combat medic, Deadspin, 9/03/18

yeah, we’ll, unfortunately you’re a fucking moron.

What? When would his protest be convenient for you?

“I believe in his cause but"

I’m looking forward to having some shitty right wing meme filter down to my facebook in about 18 hours. 

cue all the MAGA chuds buying Jordans and shoving them down the garbage disposal 

Bold response to an article about two non-Power 5 schools playing football... That also dismissed a game between two Power 5 schools in a single sentence.

I wish he’d just been like “this jamoke was willing to pay me three grand to root for the Lakers, so of course I said yes.”

La Liga is fortunate Barcelona won, otherwise they’d petition to have the result declared invalladolid

Or, and hear me out here...you could not be a fucking sociopath and politely ask the person to move. I know that this approach may not make sense to the type of person who's immediate reaction to minor social faux pas is "FUCK THAT PERSON, KICK HIS ASS, HE DESERVES NOTHING SHORT OF DEATH!", but assuming that Brown had…

Don’t care if it comes at the hands of the police

My only hope is that the president ignores the wishes of him and his family and delivers the eulogy at the funeral... hopefully pushing Meghan away from the mic before going off on a 90 min. speech about how great his presidency is and unhinged rants about the investigation. All while ignoring the person in the box. 

He throws the flag like Daria hustling for a volleyball.