To be fair, brain damage likely accounts for over 50% of his support.

I don’t think calling them morons and jamokes and dinguses and slow-witted white dorks in their best Sunday camo is handling them with kid gloves. I don’t think the solution to the imbalanced application of law enforcement in the United States is for the heavy-handed destructiveness wrongfully applied in certain…

I wear mine as a medical alert bracelet. That way if I start to get the vapors or start acting like an irrational bitch, people will see my medical condition and yell, she’s a female! Get her chocolate and put on a sex and the city DVD stat! Cause I probably just got my period.

The bigger joke is “productition.”

Try to imagine a fart sound after every line, then you guys’ll like it just fine.

Here’s the thing though - protests work by shutting down segments of society we’re not used to having shut down, to illustrate an injustice in the system. Lunch counter sit-ins - well, now you have to go out of your way to get lunch, and also ask yourself “Why are those people doing this?” Transportation strikes - now…

If human beings were logical, we wouldn’t prioritize sports over education and science, yet that’s the world we live in. For a lot of people, the news or politicians saying something doesn’t matter, but their favorite athlete saying it does. Failing to recognize that reveals true naivete.

the kid is sitting at a playground, the officers roll up on top of him, and he has the tragic failure of judgement to move in Literally Any Way.

Yah, he’s a hero for spending 1/1000000th of his net worth on an initiative that gets wonderful PR for his brand. Come on, man. You honestly want to sit there and tell me that if he really gave a shit he couldn’t do something tuly grand with the lifetime contract Nike money?

I literally do not know anyone who thinks the prequels, collectively, were good. Not one. Some defenders of Eps. III occasionally, but in a “not that bad” kind of way, as opposed to “good.”

And when taken in combo with Eps. I and II, the universal opinion I ever encounter is that the prequels were shit.

Who are these people? For the most part, I think people went out of habit and/or fan obligation. We kept thinking they would get better and they never did.

NOBODY LIKED YOUR PREQUELS, GEORGE. Has nobody told him this? Nobody? Is he in complete denial?

Instead it is a rather ordinary way for Russian men to maintain their average life expectancy of 59 years.

For the first minute or so, I assumed this was some bizarre Russian way of sending the cat into orbit. Like Laika.

Star Wars Episode VII: We Need to Talk About Kylo

He should write an apology Letter to the Philippians.

I love Washington Journal. Some freaks call in on that show, that's for sure. Once I was watching and Cher called in.

ANSWER THE PEOPLE!!

May he.

Right? Maybe my xmas gifts to people this year (because I have not started shopping) will be donations to PP. I’m not even being flippant—I’m kind of on board with the idea of, “Uncle Steve, great news—I donated $100 to Planned Parenthood in your name. And it is earmarked for abortion, you fucking tool.” That would be…