Chip Kelly is not Jesus.

Then again, we probably don't have to worry. I don't think the studio heads are going anywhere.

I just feel like you’ve been so bitter lately...

Prime movies do not function on non Kindle tablets.

Prime movies do not function on non Kindle tablets.

Zillow can be wildly inaccurate as a tool for determining the value of your house. If you are in a newer chop and drop neighborhood with four different floorplans, it might be pretty close. If you are in an older neighborhood, there are too many variables that Zillow doesn’t take into account. That house that looks…

I don’t know what they’re going to do about all the players recently out of UNC. None of those guys show up on tests.

• Maple syrup (Aunt Jemima's is delicious, by the way)

John Wall probably also saved his coach’s job this season.

Fish does this and it's funny highjinks.

From hell's heart I slap at thee.

It’s hard to know where even to begin with this piece, which is meandering and pandering and illogical on a topic about which Deadspin has generally been clear, aggressive and authoritative.

10,000 words and not a one even entertaining the possibility that Janay Rice has actually forgiven her husband and wants to facilitate his return to football, if only to improve their material position in life?

this includes that map of all the highest-paid state employees (*cough* highschoolfootballcoach *cough*).

Also, you must be pretty damn committed to walk around Mississippi in a fur vest.

Oh my god, so many eye rolls. Right, because Christopher Hitchens’s outfits demonstrated his singular thinker status, in that he definitely didn’t dress like every fucking other middle-aged white male academic within a five-mile radius.

/crosses arms under breasts.

I'm not sure why he's a hack, but yes, I agree, a Mormon would have a very hard time reconciling his faith with writing this series. The WoT had some stuff that his faith might find dubious, but compared to Game of Thrones, the WoT is basically The Pilgrim's Progress.

Nailed it.

Yeah, at 33 Jesus spent a lot of time just hanging out too.

Sounds like he has a good Head on his Shoulders.