This is why I love living far enough away from distant relatives that it is just immediate family and our kids over the holidays at my parents' place. While everyone has slightly different opinions about things, everyone is generally a whole lot more interested in playing with nieces, nephews and grandkids than we…

Dear Ms./Mrs/Mr/Whatever Prefix Suits Your Fancy/ Merlan,

It's the holidays: time for women to be endlessly instructed in the fine art of entertaining.

""I've lived here for 15 years and I've never had a violation of any kind ... It's a holiday decoration. I know if it was a real pretty nativity scene they wouldn't be saying anything."

An excellent point. It's funny though, I've heard these rabid anti-religion people try to blame religion for Hitler because Hitler was fascist and religion is fascist and some religious institutions mistreated Hitler as a child so by the magical power of nonsense logic religion is what created Hitler.

And yet Isis pales in comparison to many of the atrocities committed in the 20th century by men who were, at best, irreligious, and who were at times very anti-religion.

I've decided that maintenence is a very useful word precisely because it is so blunt and easy to analogize/use in a metaphor when trying to convey things that are true about marriage.

Baddie Winkle is THE OG Boss Ass Woman.

What's really wrong with Facebook is that it's users have opinions about how it should operate that aren't conducive to running a profitable business model.

The thought of my parents being able to see everything I do for work is ... is ... unthinkable.

Fuck that noise. I have zero fashion sense, so Christmas is the one time of year that I can wear something hideous looking and not stick out like a sore thumb.

Self-respect is overrated anyways. Alabama & Ohio State are two programs that come to mind that totally gave up any notions of self-respect in order to get their current coaches, and I'm sure if we look at other top programs such as Oregon we'd find a similar pattern.

It's obviously less than optimal, but the history of civil rights around the globe is pretty much filled with the oppressors accepting a change for pragmatic and insincere reasons. Sure that can result in there still being lots of problems for the particular minority, America after the Civil Rights Act being a prime…

So, it's not that they're scrapping virginity tests because virginity is an outdated and completely inappropriate way to test a woman's moral upstanding, but because sometimes a woman's vagina isn't virgin-like because of other reasons like she fell on it?

They sit pushing buttons and looking at the Internet in the time that the generations before spent practicing an instrument."

Thoughtful? You mean genius, right? It was worth trying. Even if it was unlikely to succeed, someone had to try it.