That was so much crueler than any intended slight could have ever dreampt of being. +1

We now go to our Foxsi ladies over at the swimsuit shoot.

This is the best response I could’ve hoped for.

Daunte Culpepper said that? Damn.

I know everyone says “Team X’s fans are the worst!”

Helfrich has a “no yelling” policy for the coaching staff, which makes fake Internet tough guys like Wilbon seethe w/ impotent rage. Therefore, he is one of my favorite 1-A coaches not coaching my alma mater.

Pretty sure Marshawn’s just there so he won’t get fined.

So, as I understand it, way back in history, there was “football” in England, but every town and shire had their own peculiar rules. A bunch of areas decided to standardize on a general set of rules and formed an association, and so this version was called “Association Football”. The people in Rugby weren’t joining…

“No, officer, that’s my nephew over there, I swear!”

Plus it’s always fun to point out to the “it’s football” wankers that South Africa’s professional league is the “Premier Soccer League,” and Australia’s informal nickname for their team is the “Socceroos.”

But have you ever faced the fight or Fuck scenario? Worst third date I've ever had

I think you already know the answer to that.

Dammit Jason, it’s called “football” because it descended from “rugby football” which was different from “association football” (that the Brits—yes, the Brits—shortened to “soccer”). Anyway, they’re all “football” because they involve a lot of moving on your feet. Oh, and because whoever named them was really…

+1 Ralphus

The lights. Always the fucking lights. They never get turned off.

It’s as if a man who has endured a life of head trauma and growth hormones doesn’t make the best decisions. Huh.

Dammit

You guys are just like my real parents, in that I receive mixed messages from you and you both reek of cigarettes

That reminds me of my dad and how he’d drive his IROC-Z onto the court where I was playing youth basketball and skid that thing real close to me while I was trying to shoot a free throw. If I missed, he’d flick a cigarette at me, peel out, and I wouldn’t see him for months. If I made the shot he’d nod at me…

Good dad, my ass. Look at how badly that kid’s missing his spots.