And I can barely get 4G on my stupid phone.

It totally runs and drives. I just like to park it in a garage, on a lift, with the hood up. What?

The tranny was originally a manual, but is now an automatic.

CP.

When I shop for unmanned armored vehicles - the ability to smash through 1/4 inch plywood walls and flaming grass piles is my #1 make-it-or-break-it criteria.

I am disapointed it doesn’t show what it would look on fire.

I can get a good look at a T-Bone steak by sticking my head up a cow’s ass, but I’d rather take my butcher’s word for it.

Just too many miles on her. Like my first wife. #BOOM!

“Alright sir, the soft tops are 10 feet to the left.”

A spectacular idea everyone else is WRONG

Too bad VW didn’t roll out a GTI wagon and R wagon to fill the gaping hole caused by the TDI stopsale. VW dealers could sure use the boost.

Reverse: Danica Patrick Was Born

was gonna say, fooled me for a second. But yeah buying this for 60k when all you want to do is be flashy is absurd. You could buy a really flashy car for 60k that’s real.

Just stick it in the fridge you fuckin weirdo.

It’s mostly me yelling at Ballaban that he’s “a loose cannon” and telling him not to “get personal.”

I’d like to take this opportunity to call out Pending Approval, who yesterday suggested that we not even try to help solve this.

Fuck you, dude.

Glad we could help, Bellevue_PD.

Law and Order SUV

Proposed Jalopnik crime division: Jacopnik

I own a 2015 Genesis. I’m in my 30's and I make enough money to afford a German, but I don’t feel drawn to them by default. I was raised in a family who religiously purchased “luxury” brands. The reason I went with the Genesis is that I was able to get all the same features those brands offered, or substantially…