Melania barely speaks English. She’s been here on an illegal visa since 1994, and her English sucks. So if she speaks one language, be it Slovene or English, she is still horribly inarticulate, and flat-out lying that she’s fluent in five.

I would be fine with her just staying hidden in the back of the White House. Just stop costing us millions of dollars a day you spoiled princess fuck.

I hope she doesn’t catch shit that Barack did for the speaking fee. Both he and Michelle were subjected to the vilest abuse I’ve ever seen heaped on a Presidential family on a daily basis. They deserve every penny they get because they deserve it.

“I didn’t want to have tears in my eyes because people would swear I was crying because of the new president.”

As someone with family in South Korea, what the everloving fuck, is this?!

How would you like your hoagie today m’Lord? With or without yon hots of long?

No, don’t paint her as a victim of parental loyalty. She is a grown woman. She knows exactly what she is doing. And that’s lining her own pockets. She is no different than her father, only in a better looking wrapping. But listen to her words, she is the same as her father. Saying anything to sell the product.

“You’re the first daughter of the United States, and you’re also an assistant to the president,” the moderator, WirtschaftsWoche editor-in-chief Miriam Meckel, said. “The German audience is not that familiar with the concept of a first daughter. I’d like to ask you, what is your role, and who are you…

The Leader of the Free World doesn’t have to dress for other people.

“As good fortune would have it, we had a bodyguard that summer,” she writes. They persuaded their bodyguard to buy lemonade, and then their driver, and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.”

and then the maids, who “dug deep for their spare change.” The lesson, she says, is that the kids “made the best of a bad situation.”

JUST DO IT AT CHURCH!! Jesus Christ, people, you have a whole day that is supposedly set aside for EXACTLY THIS KIND OF THING. Or, if it really needs to be multiple days, do it during school vacation! I got forced to go to enough vacation bible schools/ other assorted religious bullshit to know that these kind of…

Too late, for that is indeed the very name of my barbershop quartet.

Kim Clijsters did it. Had a baby that she could hug when she won the US Open.

Whatever else I think of Baldwin, he’s been surprisingly good on TCM so I’ve zero problem with this. (Shit, schedule me up a night of him and Drew Barrymore, who’s always fun when she shows up.)

TACK. IT’S TACK. THERE’S NO “NEW TACT” AS A TURN OF PHRASE. GOD HELP ME. WHEN WILL THIS STOP.

(Otherwise, nice one.)

tack — to change course by turning a boat’s head into and through the wind.

This time I’m make a mental effort to forget the perpetrator’s name and remember the victim’s.

Man, thank God we kept the Clinton family from increasing its personal wealth through the presidency, amirite, guys?