Nope, no way to make birds racist.

“What an amazing tribute.” - Dan Snyder

“I didn’t put it in front of winning, but I think we all have things that we have to do. There has to be a line somewhere, and that’s what ended up happening.”

You suck

The Australians are simply used to their toilet water draining the opposite way down the walls.

You’d think the mayor would appreciate somebody who didn’t dwell on Rio’s problems.

“We understood their one-dimensional offense. We successfully gameplanned for it. If you want to celebrate them despite their terrible offensive performance, than do so, but we declare that we figured out their offense and effectively stopped it.”

Which they did, but then the defense scored three touchdowns and the…

In today’s modern MLB landscape, it’s so much more difficult for the Yankees to be the Yankees of old. Front offices are so much smarter, analytically driven and forward thinking that it severely diminishes big market teams ability to just sign the best players. Young talent is not becoming free agents at the rate…

I’m suing.

NO. NO IT DOES NOT.

“I call this pitch the SR-71.”

Apparently Staples forgot to hit the “Easy” button.

Third eye open, well done.

Are any of the Duggers there? You could borrow something "modest".

She plagiarized Michelle Obama and rickrolled the RNC. I’m convinced that her speech writer is a 100% Grade A Troll. And I love them.

( 1 You can’t walk into the convention

It’s going to be fun this season, watching him pop open off a screen, just in time for a perfect look......

Deadspin’s editorial positions here are that a guy going to prison for four years over this is ridiculous and that the Cardinals should be banned from baseball forever and tossed into space.

Nothing compared to Mike Huckabee teaching his sons to continue eating while shitting.