you can say that again

BUT YOU GUYS...

You won a World Series and have been to a Super Bowl, Stanley Cup, and NBA Finals in your adult life (maybe late teens for the NBA, depending). You’ve done ok.

Only one guy in the squad gets to wear a stupid hat and pretend to be a jazz musician or eastern philosopher.

My experience with the Switch is a little different than Kirk’s because I’ve been playing it primarily as a portable. That’s the thing with the Switch. If you use it primarily on your TV, you’ll have one experience. If you play it on the go or at least away from the TV, you may have a very different one.

“House, is there a Ewing Theory possib-”

I think you’ve got to rebuild. This year is obviously lost, so you’ve got to think about 2018. Curry isn’t fitting in with Durant. Might I suggest a straight up Curry for Carmelo Anthony trade in the offseason?

It can fly over 20% of the way to the moon? Holy shit!

This is the silver lining in this awful story for me. I am completely amazed that Georgia pursued this case, used these laws to convict, and actually gave hefty sentences to these assholes.

six years on one count of violating Georgia’s street gang act

I just said 14 birds were.

The 14 stunned birds were later quoted as saying “They were so good at the beginning of the season, what the fuck happened?!”

I actually have a solution. Birds could stop flying full speed into walls like idiots!

Levi’s 569 Loose Straight-Leg, because I’m a man, and I lift weights, so girly little skinny jeans don’t work. If you wear skinny jeans, do some squats until you can’t wear skinny jeans anymore.

Levi’s 569 Loose Straight-Leg, because I’m a man, and I lift weights, so girly little skinny jeans don’t work. If…

I think you mean “corroborate.”

How long is the Healing Process™ for an injury like that?

#keepYourFuckingDroneOffMyPropertyAsshole

Okay, tough guy. Well, prepare to spend quite a lot of time in jail if you actually shoot someone for taking down your “expensive property”.

as far as I’m concerned Shaq has a free pass based on this gif alone

have you ever heard of a man with 50 liters of blood having a stroke tho