I got towed once at a college apartment complex after I went through great measures to get a visitor pass. I called the tow company, asked them to look exactly where the pass was supposed to be, and lo and behold, it was there. They brought my car back right away and apologized. I was very polite and never raised my…

This is like going for a high-five and missing. ;)

"At my SIL's wedding all of her husband's sisters had the sluttiest dresses on."

if we were ever in the same place i would have to hide behind a potted plant tho

I started to put too much thought into this and then realized that if this is legit, and this person is already feeling like this, picking apart the post to figure out who it is just makes me feel uncomfortable.

Never a good sign when the female neck is angled backward or even straight up.

I would really like to see 'feeling my Cheerios (tm)' make a comeback, but as the knowingly Midwestern female masturbation euphemism that it was clearly destined to be.

You're an adult and you actively steal meat from a grocery store? Short of you being too poor to afford even bulk hamburger, this is pretty juvenile.

And whoever created the word promposal should be tasered. A lot.

Does anyone else give women side eye when they talk about their barre fitness classes? I wish it was mandatory for these women to take an actual adult beginner ballet class, just so they know they are not doing ACTUAL ballet.

I'm easily the worst in the class every time I show up, but I'm learning.

I get what you're saying about people who are generally on feminism's side not being beyond reproach, but this "true ally" shit has got to stop. I am telling you, as a guy, even when we understand there are problems and treating women equally is the only reasonable way to behave, it takes a long-ass time to really…

Or the inevitable (oh god so many) reviews there AND on Sephora with only "ew I hate this color" annnnnnd the color isn't even referenced. Or, tangentially, shoe reviews that're just "terrible these are way to [sic] big/small." Please step over here. No, closer. Keep coming. You need to be within slapping distance.

You've...you're my favorite person.

The day I suck a man's dick for any other reason than because I goddamn felt like it is the day every single one of you needs to put a fucking bullet in my head.

Hey! They stole my vagina's nickname.

Sorry but Gwyneth is super pretty and I wish I looked exactly like her. I can't hate her no matter how much some people try to say I should.

Team smarter and better looking for the win. The dress is blue.

Ric Flair has looked more or less the same for my entire life. He just gets slightly redder as he ages.