Got a scouting report on either of these two players?

Dareus allegedly told that woman that they had had sex, but she could not remember, and she was diagnosed with herpes later that week.

So what you’re saying is this Goldberg guy is some kind of rube?

A Bryan Goldberg machine is a device designed to perform a simple task incorrectly.

Initial reports have PacMan avoiding the confrontation, grabbing something to eat, and then seeking out his attacker.

So he name-dropped the only good cops out there? I don’t see a problem here.

I’m sure these kids have seen enough divers the last few days.

She could name her Thoughts and Prayers.  This would be the one instance that sending Thoughts and Prayers into a situation could actually make something better.

Breaking: Cleveland’s spirit

Of course it’s on Messi’s person. It’s not like his teammates are gonna carry anything.

Fox at the Hen house? That always goes well.

Worst crime I ever committed, the very worst crime anyone can ever commit in the eyes of the cops, was having access to a good enough lawyer who got most of the evidence including an accidental confession all tossed out pretrial. DA still went ahead, but lawyer was good and the words “not guilty” are the sweetest ones…

Thanks! I stopped reading after two words but I figure I get the gist

“Hmmm. Misusing ICE is the only way I can get a boner.”

As long as all of the punches were thrown underhand, no rules were broken.

I’m sorry he died

Meh Car Monday crossover episode?

I submit the following summary of the events of the last week as irrefutable proof that we are all in hell and Satan has an amazingly developed sense of humor:

Calling TO the worst teammate in the history of football is a huge fucking stretch, my dude.