And film it for Hard Knocks.

Aren’t issues like these the exact reason why you don’t pin your entire franchise hopes on a bunch of 19 and 20 year olds, though?

I enjoy the visual of a famous 7 foot tall professional athlete attempting to use a fake ID

Nothing good ever happens after midnight.

They can always sexually harass the interns.

For those of you still intending on watching this game:

Will Manziel show up drunk enough to puke on the sidelines?

I, for one, cannot wait to see how the announcers are going to make it through this without resorting to ludicrous amounts of alcohol or attempting suicide.

Not a promotion but funny as hell anyway.

This has all the earmarks of the Giants-Cardinals MNF game in the 80s that was so bad that George Halas died soon after.

Matt Schaub has lost his last 6 starts, meaningless in comparison to the eternal void which will consume us all. Enjoy ESPN.

Hey come on, a Sixers player was involved in TWO recent incidents at nightclubs while the Browns and Ravens only combined for ONE. Clearly the Sixers come out on top.

Adam Schefter appears every Monday afternoon on the local ESPN affiliate in Albany, NY (104.5). Today, when asked by one of the co-hosts to give him something to be excited for in this game, Schefter summed it up by saying, “Well, it’s football.”

This is so fucking sad.

This is why the Premier League is so much better than the NFL. At least there when you have to watch just shamefully poor performances and boring strategy, you still get to see Jose Mourinho’s reactions.

Turd since inception? Really reusing the phrase your dad closed birthday cards with huh?

The only thing they haven’t tried is the “Come See What Call The Refs Fuck Up This Week” angle.

Their twitter account reads like Nihilist Arby’s